Let’s Become Millionaires Now

Wednesday’s Powerball jackpot has swelled to a cool $107 million. I’ve been playing Powerball long enough to know that when the pot gets this big, it’s usually a group of 40 or so factory workers in rural Nebraska who win it. That’s probably got something to do with the fact these big groups by hundreds of tickets. 

Chumps. It’s not about how many tickets you have. It’s about how many people you have. The Powerball is rigged, and they know a good story when they see one. Here’s a good story: Blogger buys tickets, shares winnings with site visitors. BOOM! New York Times, Thursday morning. Chalk it up.

Look, I’m tired of not being rich, so I’m switching my approach this week. I’m buying one ticket today after work today, snapping a picture of said ticket, and putting that bad boy on my blog. I intend on winning Wednesday and I want to share it with you.

Well, I don’t really want to, but showing the intent only increases the karmic forces that will lead us to riches. Win some, lose some.

Here’s all I ask: Leave a comment (above, left) and explain how you would use your portion of the money. I want to know what’s No. 1 on your wish list, not what charity you’d give to. (We’d give $1 million to the Haiti Relief Fund before the pot was ever split.) As soon as you leave a comment, you’re eligible to take an equal cut of the jackpot. If 50 people comment, the pot is split 50 ways. I’m cool with that.

Let’s do this.

35 thoughts on “Let’s Become Millionaires Now

  1. As a man who has been funding the Powerball since his 18th birthday (and slightly before due to a growth spurt and questionable standards at gas stations all over rural Iowa) I am more than willing to jump in on this action.

    In fact, Massachusetts JUST got Powerball starting today!! I’ve been playing some mutant east coast version known as “Mega Millions” and it isn’t nearly as satisfying pissing money away on “Mega Millions” as it was on Powerball.

    Additionally, I plan to use my portion of the money to quit working and become a full-time blogger….and/or….I’ll use it to go to Spring Training and spend all of March hammered in the sun watching the Twinkies play at 60% effort…

  2. As a fellow college graduate, the #1 item would be bills. If I were to be able to pay off my college, car, a years worth of car insurance and the gigantic 52” Sharp LCD television tv loans, I’d be a happy camper.

    After becoming debt free, I’d probably start writing and directing short movies that have been dancing in my head for the past couple of years. The latest would be a movie that would be me running across different locales, performing crazy hi-jinks set to the tune of Trampled By Turtles song “White Noise”.

  3. Well after paying off my student loan debt, and maybe donating some to Ellen Mrja to save the journalism program, I would buy a new car. I’ve been barely scooting around in my brother’s hand-me-down 1997 Oldsmobile Achieva for far too long…

  4. I have spent a lot of time pondering this problem in various dentist chairs over the years (since the novocaine is never QUITE enough for me, it is essential to have an anesthetizing train of thought). After the “get-out-of-debt-free” card aspect got played, I would totally get us a spread in the country, set up our goat ranch, modest dream home, and — most important — build a brewery/bakery behind the house with a writing studio on the second floor. If anyone needs me, I’ll be out back…

  5. I’d pay off your school loans, your sister’s school loans and my kids loans and then we could all live debt free! Do I get a double cut for my altruistic thoughts?

  6. I would have to say I’d knock off a chunk of Joe’s school loans. Simply because he’s been at it for some time.
    Then cover Beth’s and mine.
    Then whatever remains would go to John and Jan because God knows, I owe them a lot.

  7. Looks like we’ve got 12 folks getting in on the Powerball action. That’s not so bad. $107M instant payout is like $53M, which is like $36M after taxes. Just about $3M a piece. Not bad.

  8. I would buy a new car and pay for my college education and Maryn’s and then I would buy you a nice new house in Minnesota! ; )

  9. Well…I have learned that being with those I love is enough, so…in order to gather those loved ones together I would like to buy a bigger cottage with more than one bathroom! Than pay off the kids’ college debt and leave the rest to them…XOXO!!

  10. My #1? I’d buy tickets for my friends and family to come visit. Then an iPad for my wonderful boyfriend, then a pair of Nike Lunarglides, size 6.5 in grey and green, a new laundry basket, front row VIP Chelsea Handler tickets, new sheets…
    Am I out of money yet? How much do I get to work with? Well, that’s my number one, its grouped together.

  11. I thought up another one, I’m going to go into a random McDonald’s and DEMAND they make me a McRib on the spot…with that kind of cash, they can’t turn me down, right?!

    • Now that 43 states are carrying Powerball, I would imagine the jackpots become much more massive on the regular.

      Similar to your demand, I would have In-N-Out burger delivered to me once per week from Southern California. That, or open my own shop in Minneapolis.

  12. OK, gotta admit Graves’ two are the best ever. I would start up my bar & grill franchise, FroDaddy’s Burgers and Blues. In honor of the guest of honor, Miller, I’d pay John Mayer to be the opening act, but not let him play any of his soft pop bullshit, just the blues.

  13. Start my own business (which would probably be a brewery. Felderbrau, here we come). And if there is something left (I’d hope), help my folks retire after busting their humps for the last 30+ years.

  14. Well if everyone else is getting in on this action, I might as well too. Besides paying off the student loans, I would use the money to hire Jared Allen, Neil Patrick Harris and the creators of Lost to hang out at a partying I was hosting. Everyone on this comment board would be invited.

    Or… I could just hire Bryant McKinnie to plan a party for me. I hear he can put together one hell of a good time.

  15. Since all your friends and relatives have submitted, I will too. I don’t want you to feel the need to give me a part of YOUR winnings. I would use the money to build homes, or buy a bank, or maybe both.

  16. I think I would buy several pubs in Ireland-my self serving dream it is…

    Outside of this I might fund part of a revolution…Aye yes…that is most self serving…

  17. I would pay off my debt, quit my job and waitress at Fro Daddy’s Burgers and Blues. And start my own animal rescue. And adopt 11 cats.

  18. Newsflash: I Didn’t Win the $335 Million Mega Millions Drawing | The Miller Times

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