Table Shuffleboard = Best Bar Game Ever

I make no apologies for my drunken photography. I'm a visionary after a few pints.

Between growing up in my family’s sports bar, bartending for two years and going to college for six, I’ve spent my fair share of time playing darts, pinball, pool, Big Buck Hunter, foosball, you name it. I’ve never played skee ball in a bar, but that’s just a silly fantasy.

The other night in the basement of a dive called Life of Riley, I was reminded of something I’ve known for quite some time: When it comes to bar recreation, nothing is better than table shuffleboard. Nothing.

When I say table shuffleboard, I’m not talking about the plastic hip-friendly version they play in nursing homes. I mean shuffleboard on a table in whichever establishment is so lucky to have forty odd feet available. It’s a game that requires touch, aim, finesse and aggression. Most importantly, you can play it with beer in hand. Unfortunately, the game requires lot of addition and subtraction wizardry, but that’s what the calculator on your cell phone is for. Specifically.

I humbly propose to the bar owners of America your rows of dart machines and rooms reserved for pool tabs give way to table shuffleboard. The last thing you need is drunken patrons throwing things for leisure or wielding pool cues like ninjas. Table shuffleboard could, quite possibly, be the key to world peace in bars everywhere.

Short post today, and kind of a lame weekend for TMT. To be honest, my right pinkie and ring finger needed the rest. I think I’ve got some carpal tunnel coming on between the all the typing here and at work. My girlfriend’s siblings are coming to town on Wednesday. For some  reason, I feel like that’ll require ten healthy fingers.

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5 thoughts on “Table Shuffleboard = Best Bar Game Ever

  1. It’s good to see I’m not alone on the potential carpal tunnel thing.

    In regards to the shuffleboard: Hells-to-the-Yes!!

    I love that game with every beat of my cheeseburger and bacon-clogged heart.

  2. The Thirsty Beaver in Elysian Minnesota has an electronic shuffle board game, much like the one in South Street. Only thing is you have to pay to play. Little studs pop out of the board to block anyone that doesnt want to pay. I didnt play so I didnt get all the details, but it was pretty sweet.

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