Between growing up in my family’s sports bar, bartending for two years and going to college for six, I’ve spent my fair share of time playing darts, pinball, pool, Big Buck Hunter, foosball, you name it. I’ve never played skee ball in a bar, but that’s just a silly fantasy.
The other night in the basement of a dive called Life of Riley, I was reminded of something I’ve known for quite some time: When it comes to bar recreation, nothing is better than table shuffleboard. Nothing.
When I say table shuffleboard, I’m not talking about the plastic hip-friendly version they play in nursing homes. I mean shuffleboard on a table in whichever establishment is so lucky to have forty odd feet available. It’s a game that requires touch, aim, finesse and aggression. Most importantly, you can play it with beer in hand. Unfortunately, the game requires lot of addition and subtraction wizardry, but that’s what the calculator on your cell phone is for. Specifically.
I humbly propose to the bar owners of America your rows of dart machines and rooms reserved for pool tabs give way to table shuffleboard. The last thing you need is drunken patrons throwing things for leisure or wielding pool cues like ninjas. Table shuffleboard could, quite possibly, be the key to world peace in bars everywhere.
Short post today, and kind of a lame weekend for TMT. To be honest, my right pinkie and ring finger needed the rest. I think I’ve got some carpal tunnel coming on between the all the typing here and at work. My girlfriend’s siblings are coming to town on Wednesday. For some reason, I feel like that’ll require ten healthy fingers.