Now that I’ve secured my dream internship at Fast Horse Inc. in Minneapolis, my girlfriend and I are set to move across the country in just 11 short day. We’re lucky our property managers are being extremely flexible considering such short notices of vacating and moving in, but not everything can be so easy.
For instance, moving our queen-sized mattress.
Last weekend, my girlfriend and I attended a play called Once Upon a Mattress. That was a comedy. The past few days, we’ve been trying to figure the fate of our mattress. This has been a horror story. Do you know how much it costs to ship a single queen-sized mattress 1,700 miles? The invoice ends up looking like Lindsay Lohan’s bar tab. We’re talking $400 to $500, easy.
So, how did we get our mattress here in the first place? The story bears repeating:
Mere days before moving from Mankato, Minn. to Portland, a friend of ours who lived across the street from our apartment had come to town with a Uhaul. A construction manager, he’d recently moved to The Dalles, Ore — 75 miles east of Portland. He was back to help his roommates clear our their house he’d previously helped rent.
That night, my girlfriend wandered over to say her goodbyes. Our friend, nothing short of a saint, asked if we had anything we needed shipped this way. It turned out he drove our mattress to Portland and we didn’t owe a penny. (Although he’s requested any return payment come in the form of cocktails. So it has.)
Because everything has worked out so smoothly otherwise, because it might appear we’re playing life with the cheat codes, it’s only fair we be stumped by this mattress conundrum. Throw out the obvious proposal — ditching this mattress to buy a new one — because this bad boy will be with us in Minneapolis. This little, we know.
We also know shipping is a racket. Services we’ve looked at have quoted arbitrary prices like $431 to move a $780 mattress. This price sucks for three very distinctive reasons:
- It’s roughly half the cost of buying a new mattress, making it cost effective.
- All you get is a mattress. The same mattress you had to start with. It’s just in a different place now.
- It’s roughly the cost of a Minnesota Twins 20-game package at Target Field.
If our mattress could hold up a thumb, I’d bring it to the interstate and wish it the best. Instead, we’ll end up forking over $400 or more, unless one of you brilliant loyal TMT readers has a suggestion that doesn’t involve quantum physics or organized crime.
Help a blogger out!