Mayor R.T. Rybak Sticks It To Greedy Tow-truck Terrorists

I’ve been towed exactly seven times in my life. Each time, it’s been a kick in the pants, because you never want to be in a position where a) someone has taken your vehicle without asking and b) they want a lot of money before they return it. That’s a ransom where I come from.

Approximately 400 vehicles were towed in Minneapolis over the weekend. A total of 17.1 inches of snow fell on the city, leaving many vehicles stuck during the snow emergency. The good news is Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak offered amnesty to anyone who was towed over the weekend, citing in many cases that vehicles couldn’t be moved because the streets simply wouldn’t allow it; stuck not by negligence but by Mother Nature.

So, high-five, Mayor. Thanks for preventing the tow-truck terrorists from fleecing helpless citizens.

No one’s ever happy to call a towing company and I can’t imagine a more miserable job than receptionist at a towing company. It’s a business of doom and gloom, legalized robbery, a damn racket. What never ceases to amaze me are the names these towing companies go by. In the Twin Cities, we have:

  • Always Available Towing — Seems like more of a threat than an assurance.
  • Cheap Towing — Define “cheap.”
  • Yeah Buddy Towing RecoveryTowing like a big shot?
  • A+ Towing Inc. Not a lot of A+’s in the towing industry, you know?
  • Gopher Towing — If the name was literal, I’d pay double to see that.

We’re blessed to have an off-the-street parking so we don’t have to park on the odd-numbered side of even-numbered streets running North or Northwest during the waning crescent if it’s a Tuesday in the second week of the month in an odd-number year if you’re a Libra and you live in a zip code with a square root between 245 and 247. Sure, MnDOT’s gone gangbusters on the social media front to help inform the general public of snow emergencies and dangerous travel conditions, but snow emergency parking procedure reads like an algorithm, and I can’t handle that math.

I’m just an English grad.

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