Improving Intervention

PCP addiction just doesn’t do it for me anymore.

At its best, Intervention — the A&E series where families and friends confront loved ones about their addictions — provides some of the best television this side of HBO or Showtime. Over the years, I’ve seen eating disorders, substance addictions and even Allison, the young woman addicted to duster. I’ve seen it all, and frankly, Intervention, your subjects have become passe.

I’d like to throw out a couple suggestions as you begin to considering production of the next season of Intervention. Consider:

Tanning — Here’s your answer to that curiously popular show Jersey Shore. Tanning is a growing epidemic in our country, and you won’t have to look far to find an orange 19-year-old college student who’s jonesing for a tanning bed 24 hours a day. How you know they need an intervention: Each of the bulbs in their home have been switched out for 160w Custom Bronzer lamps.

World of Warcraft — The YouTubes is rife with angst-filled teenagers who have taken tantrums and destruction to a new level should anyone mess with their WoW. In my previous job working with online college students, I met several who dumped years of tuition because they couldn’t shake WoW. I met two students who’d married someone they met via WoW. How you know they need an intervention:

Social media — Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare — this addiction comes in many forms, but nevertheless, it’s interrupted our normal way of life. That’s gone to an extreme with some. Social media might be great for meeting new people, but for some people, it’s a way of existence. How you know they need an intervention: If they have over 3,000 Facebook photos of themselves interacting with Facebook … If they tweet about their tweets … If they’ve created multiple Foursquare check-in points from within their own bedroom.

Texting — Special guest: Oprah! Picture a mother of four in a bigger city constantly texting and driving. She’s been in several car accidents before, but she can’t stop. Sitting in her intervention led by Oprah, she chooses to text her responses to her family members. No one is LOL. How you know they need an intervention: Ask them. If they respond via text, well…